Everyone knows im a creative writer. I have to conform to the norms of what a perfect writer is - a writer who writes with material, substance, coherence, a decent choice of words, blah, blah, blah. Everything that my hand jots down must be perfect, untainted, flawless and marvelous. Nothing should be of the ordinary. I must be unique. I must have my own style. I must be this, I must be that. Just like my blockmate Bea Celdran said in a writing workshop, "We carry the burden of our name. There is pressure in a creative writer because everything we write must be perfect. If we fail, we are judged."

But why is it that I took this course? Why is it that I chose to train under this art? Why is it that I branded myself with "creative writer" written all over me and in turn am punished by the pressure it exerts on me? But alas, I shouldnt be tormented by this situation at all. Why? Because I took this course so that I could learn about it. I am not perfect. Even now I believe that what Im writing isn't worthy of a Palanca Award, but soon though, it will be.