T

Journal Entry No. 2
October 25, 05

It's been a pretty long time and I've got tons on my mind. Im confused, Im broken, Im tired, Im irritated, Im deprived of sleep, Im apprehensive, Im anxious, Im eager, Im everything...

Before, I used to be irritated with people who rant in online journals, but now Im one of them, sucks to be me. These journals are meant to be vents, vents for anger and sometimes for happiness. Someone just needs to listen. Sometimes you just got to share your despair so you wouldn't be carrying that luggage of worry all the time. Right now Im encumbered, like a balloon filled with so much air delighted with the sight of a needle. I just need to release...

Let me tell you about something you wouldn't understand...
In an effort to be anonymous, Joshua writes a poem about a moment of despair...
(Beware, the cornyness might kill you...)

Up there,
It was heaven.
Beside me was a treasure
worth more than Gold and Silver
with eyes glittering like diamond sunshine
To part with a treasure
guarded with utmost measure
is hell to the innocent
and heaven to the evil
"Why do you have to go?"
"Why do you have to leave?"
Your soul strongly fastened with the devil's grip
The depths of fire blinded you, binded you
I try to ignore and enjoy this new pain
my fire I pray to be drenched by rain
I want to forget, and never regret
The time of torture, of torment, of pain
Now I return, "Up there," "Up High"
With tears down my eyes and weakening disdain
I try to remember the treasure I had
worth more than Gold and Silver
with eyes glittering like diamond sunshine...

This is enough...